Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
