we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
