Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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