do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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