Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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