Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize