My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
