I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
