I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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