At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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