Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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