I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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