Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
