we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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