Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
vagina is talking i cant
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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