he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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