You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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