I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
