smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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