..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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