I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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