Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize