she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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