allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
