is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
