Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish you could order shots online.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
