she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize