nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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