Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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