i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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