belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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