one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I love having hate sex.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
