Well douche your snatch and let's go!
someone threw a dead crab at me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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