i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
