I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sext me about skeletons
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
