school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize