Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
