i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
