I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
