Got a toothbrush?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
