It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
