Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
