i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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