he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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