You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
