Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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