What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize