if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
