Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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