clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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