If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
