: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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