ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
