I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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