how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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