Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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