in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize