at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
