the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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