He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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