David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
