He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
