Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
