First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
