just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
