In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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