Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize