he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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