It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
