is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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