I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize