There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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