Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
