would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
