I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
