and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
