I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
