how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
